tenI've politely declined deathfor maybe the seventh timebut he's a rather persistentfellow; he never lets myfingerstray toofar fromthe trigger
nineit's funny how carefulwe are aboutdamaging ourselvesproperly
twothese scars will meltwith time, but the emotionsare forever branded tothe hour that birthed them andthe strangers they belong to
fivemaybe if i tear out myveins, replace them withflowers, stitch myself up withlace and ribbons, i'll be pretty
Endlessi could talk to youuntil my throat bledfrom all the sharp cornersof every wordand i'd listen to your voiceuntil the suncircles the moon.and then some
fourdo not wish upona star, the starsare dead; the skyis filled with corpses
nostalgia is poisoncall me a hoarder if youwant.i steal memories fromnettle-strewn alleywaysand crystallized diningrooms,collect them inkisses and nasty littlescars.i can't seem to partwith them, no matter howseverely they threaten myhealth
Glassyif i waited till the nextthunder storm, buriedmy heart in the sand,and let the lighting strike,i'd have the perfect presentfor you, encased in glassand everything
Yesterdayyesterdayi nearly disposed ofmy existenceand i still have to wakeup, caked in a layer ofunfeeling burn marks, justto be swallowed by crowdsof ignorance again.just because i'm notcoughing up a lungdoesn't mean i'm notsick, and if you won'thelp me slay this monsterby giving me over to ahospital for souls, it's yourown damn fault i'm nevercoming home.
eighti run with scissorson purpose. i don't havea death wish, I just hideall the bullet holesi've collected upon enteringthis cruel world. being impaledcan't hurt much more
threemy wrists are leaking again;i've spilt my guts, but youmopped them up without evencringing. i don't thinkthe stains will come out.not this time.
Suicidal Tendenciescourage doesn't comefrom the fibers you'reborn with. You aren'tbrave when you decideto be.when you wakeup in the bedsmeared with yourown self destructionand you act as thoughyou aren't crumblinginto the carpet.or when you holda piece of shrapnelto your veins andwant to sever every lastone, but you throw itout the window.or when you standon the sunsetwith clouds straddlingyour mind and yourwhole existence readyto hurl itself over therailing, but you limphome and through the screendoor and pretend to walkon air again.That is bravery.
Springthe stale air in my lungsis depleting with eachbreath of crude spring.my blood is melted,my heart is smolderingand my eyes are aflame.the corpse of winterlays dormant undermy feet
i hope you remember to bring the flowers.the stars whispered lateone nightas we lay beneath theirgrandeur."what if i die today?" you asked.and i told you in that case,i'd see you by tomorrow.
twenty-fivei burned through this summerlike a pack of cheap cigarettes.all these snowflakes in my lungskeep chaffing the burns.
My DiseaseMy fingers bleed wordsthat my lips cannot say.When they try to trickle out,I scowl and turn away.It may not be contagious,but it is a disease.Holding myself deep inside,it's getting hard to breathe.Lies come so easy,to cover up the truth.It’s like my second nature,grown from my very youth.It’s deeper than conviction,more earnest than a thought.It’s my wayIt’s my lifeIt is my disease.
comfortcurling into quilts so deepbubbles of tension run offmy body like soap, and iclutch that raggedy littledog to my chest like clothcan make me whole.
RosieThere was a girl who wandered off...She never came back,Even when the skylight turned blackThere was worry, there was fearBut the town acceptedThe truth was here A cold caseA story for no one to hear Day after day the autumn grows darkThe town, the people, the flowers in the parkAll had dread for good news might never come Dead in the ground?Where has she gone? But it all went by, one cry at a timeOnly aged 11 ,but did it matter?Her family was shatteredEvery day was the same despairBut there was a boy who actually caredHe took flight on his red bicycle and didn't stopHe got to her house and his heart dropped... He couldn't believeHe felt deceivedBut he won't let this beHe ran to the woodsWhich no one should enterhe was brave and clever He ran fastHe ran fierce Rosie!Rosie!He yelled out loudThe woods were coldAll were dead, even soundHis voice was the on
Delusional Angel.Delusional Angel.Twist my mind up, influence me.It's all a dream darling, don't think it real.We're just passing through; or is life passing through us?Wrap yourself around me, love––hold me through the storm.Do you feel that beating, love?––it's in sync with the universe.Life is but a moment; surging through eternity.This, right now is but a coinciding instant.We have survived the world, lovely. Do you see it?Remember me in the morning dear, tonight is absolute.Pale pink lips and sweet bits.Sketches and coffee spots.Full moons and breaking points.Vinyl vibes and genuine conversation.Red wine and lipstick streaks.Kisses and contemplation.© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Only WordsIt's all harmless fun,He knows I'm kidding He's constantly giving reasons That make me want to dieSure, he's a hideous thing,But that's not my fault He tells me how ugly I am, That I'm some monstrous beingHe's the biggest nerd everHe deserves to know his level He steals my glasses, hits my books Tells me to stop the "genius act"I'm always sure to tell othersHow we're just playing around He tells the teachers, "we're friends", About ho
NightmaresI used to be an open personSome would say I was too openI told everyoneEverything there was to know about meBut it all changed one dayThey changed the way they saw meThey changed the things they did around meShe changed the way she looked meShe changed the way she spoke to meI changed the things I chose to shareI changed the way I saw the worldI made a simple mistakePresenting my heart on a silver platterOne day made meOne day chained meIt was an innocent actionThat led to disastrous consequencesOne day gave birth to my downfallOne day showed me HellIn the moments leading to my demiseI spoke an evil truthTelling my younger sisterMy worst nightmaresDisgust danced on her faceFear glazed her eyesAnd tears chased each other down her little cheeksI realized thatIn order to right my wrongI had to changeThis was the only way to save myselfFrom my own growing darknessSo I stopped
UnspokenFor the loveI never shared.For the thingsI'll never tell.For all the secretsBig and small.For the timesI ignored the calls.For all the wordsI left unspoken.I'm now drowningIn my emotions.
Two SidesOh. It broke.Don't worry, we can fix it!Why bother? It'll just break again.But then we can make it stronger!It won't make a difference.Well, we have to fix it if it's broken, right?Not unless we stop using it.But we have to use it!We do?We do!It's useless fixing it though; it never stays quite right.Then we'll just have to make sure it does this time, won't we?You know you're just setting yourself up for failure.We'll see. You know we're going to end up using it.And a week after we start using it, it'll break. Again.We just have to learn how to use it properly.And what is this "properly"? Have we been using it dangerously this entire time?Well, no, but—Exactly. It's not us. It's them.You know, you shouldn't blame it on others.Whatever.Why do you never care about it?Why do you care so much about it?
Spotlight"it's all for attention"but silence is not a spotlightwords unsaid aren't pleading criesdark clothes do not draw the eyeblood drips silently, slowlyscarred flesh is held close, concealedpills are small, in light of how they'll end it all(razors don't shine in the dark)"it's all for attention"but silence is not a spotlightsilence is a suicide note
Love Letter To MyselfTo the little girl who lives between my heartbeats and my rib cage,You might not understand right nowbut there'll come a time when you will,so I'll write this to you while the words are still hanging off my fingertips.When you walk, you don't stride like the other kids,you two step.Don't be afraid to get lost in your danceeven if your steps turn to three,you'll soon figure out who can keep upand who's not kind enough to accept the difference.There will forever be a billboard of butterflies nailed to your chest,it's what keeps you you.Don't doubt their wings.They're not strong enough right now to lift you upbut there will come a day that they will beand it'll feel like your heart is about to pound out of your chest;don't be afraid of leaving the groundand don't be afraid to come back down either.Let yourself love someone, whoever that may beand don't ever second guess the decisions your heart makes for you.Don't listen to the people who say you're wrong to lov
DryCutting myself drybecause of you.
Untitledthere was once a girlwhose heart was as big and as bright as the sunbut even the sun dies out eventually.
sixhe plucked six white rosesfor meand even though they'll diein a week,it's matchless to any other gifti've received